Parenting Time

What Should You Do When Your Child Refuses Parenting Time With Their Other Parent?

Hearing your child say they do not want to see their other parent is stressful, confusing, and heartbreaking. You naturally want to protect them from distress. At the same time, you’re probably worried about starting a legal battle with your co-parent.

At SLG Family Law, our attorneys have decades of experience helping parents make sense of difficult parenting time issues. Kids refuse to visit with their other parent for all kinds of reasons. How you handle this situation makes a huge difference.

Here is what you should do if your child is refusing parenting time with their other parent:

• Listen calmly: Give your child a safe space to explain their feelings without judgment.
• Encourage the visit: You must make a good-faith effort to follow the existing court order.
• Keep detailed records: Document dates, behaviors, and your attempts to facilitate the parenting time.
• Communicate in writing: Inform your co-parent of the issue respectfully via text or email.
• Seek legal guidance: Involve the court to request formal modifications or therapeutic interventions if the issue persists.

Why Is My Child Refusing to See Their Other Parent?

Before taking action, it’s crucial to understand the root cause of your child’s reluctance. The reasons often vary by age and circumstance. For example, a toddler might be experiencing simple separation anxiety, which is a normal developmental stage. A teenager, on the other hand, might be frustrated by stricter rules at the other parent’s house or dealing with a personality clash. To get to the bottom of it, ask open-ended questions in a calm setting, such as, “I’ve noticed you seem sad when it’s time to go to your other parent’s house. Can you tell me more about that?” It is vital that you do not lead the child or speak negatively about the other parent, as this can influence their answers and escalate the conflict.

It’s also important to distinguish between typical complaints and serious allegations. If your child makes severe allegations of abuse or neglect, you must take immediate protective action by contacting child protective services or law enforcement. However, if the issues are minor, such as disagreements over screen time or food, the situation requires gentle encouragement and co-parent collaboration rather than legal intervention.

Do I Have to Make My Child Visit Their Other Parent if They Refuse?

Yes, you are legally obligated to facilitate visitation. While it can feel incredibly wrong to push a crying, resistant child out the door, parenting time agreements are legally binding court mandates. Simply allowing the child to stay home is a violation of the order and could lead to serious legal consequences, including being held in contempt of court. A contempt finding can result in fines, make-up parenting time, or even a change in parenting time.

To comply with the law, you must make a “good-faith effort” to follow the order. This means having the child dressed, packed, and ready for the exchange at the designated time and actively encouraging them to go. A helpful strategy is to explain to the child that the judge, not the parents, makes the rules about visits. This approach can shift the perceived blame away from both parents, helping to maintain a united front and reducing the child’s feeling of being caught in the middle.

How Should I Document the Situation and Involve the Court?

If your child’s refusal becomes a consistent pattern or stems from a serious concern, diligent documentation is your most powerful tool. This record-keeping protects you from potential contempt allegations and provides the evidence needed to seek a formal solution.

Start a private journal to log the dates, times, and specific reasons the child gives for refusing to go. Quote their exact words whenever possible. Additionally, make sure all communication with your co-parent about this issue is in writing (email or text). This creates a clear, time-stamped record showing that you are proactively trying to facilitate visits and are respectfully asking your co-parent to help you find a solution together.

Once you have gathered this documentation, a family law attorney can use it to file a formal motion with the court. This legal step officially notifies the judge of the problem, protects you from being penalized for the missed visits, and begins the process of addressing the child’s distress in a structured, legally sound manner.

What Can the Court Do if My Child Refuses to Visit Their Other Parent?

When faced with a parenting time refusal, the court’s primary goal is to support the well-being of your child and preserve the parent-child relationship, not to punish anyone. Judges have several tools to help resolve these painful standoffs and prefer to find solutions that fix the underlying conflict rather than severing family ties.

A common first step is ordering reunification counseling or family therapy. These interventions provide a safe, neutral environment where a trained professional can help the child and parent work through their issues and rebuild their connection.

If therapy uncovers deeper problems or if the child is mature enough to have a strong, well-reasoned preference, the court may consider modifying the parenting plan. This could mean adjusting the schedule, ordering supervised parenting time, or making other changes that better suit the child’s current needs and best interests.

Protect Your Child and Your Parental Rights

When your child refuses to see their other parent, it can leave you feeling pulled in two directions, but stay calm. Listen to your child, make a genuine effort to follow the court order, and carefully document what is happening. If the situation does not improve, taking the right legal steps can help bring structure and support to what feels like an impossible situation.

At SLG Family Law, we work with parents who are dealing with exactly this kind of uncertainty. We help you understand what the court expects, organize the right evidence, and take action that protects both your child’s well-being and your parental rights. Reach out to our parenting time attorneys today, and we’ll help you move forward with a clear plan.