Discovering a spouse’s infidelity is one of the most devastating experiences anyone can face. But when children are involved, the pain runs even deeper. You may be asking yourself what kind of example your spouse is setting or whether their actions could affect the kind of future you want for your children. These are heavy, overwhelming thoughts—and you’re not alone in having them.
At SLG Family Law, we’ve walked alongside countless clients in similar situations, helping them move through the complexities of divorce when trust has been broken. In this post, we’ll break down what Illinois law says about infidelity and how it factors into custody decisions so you can take steps to protect your children.
Illinois operates under a “no-fault” divorce system. This means courts don’t assign blame or punish either spouse for the breakdown of the marriage, including adultery. This also means that when it comes to custody decisions, Illinois judges focus exclusively on what serves the child’s best interests—not on marital mistakes or moral failings.
The affair itself won’t automatically strip your spouse of custody rights. Courts recognize that being an unfaithful partner doesn’t necessarily make someone an unfit parent, even if you feel otherwise.
While adultery alone doesn’t influence custody, it can become relevant if it directly impacts your child’s safety or well-being. Courts will step in when the affair creates genuine risks for children.
Examples of when infidelity might affect custody include:
The bottom line: Illinois courts intervene only when adultery connects to actual harm for the child.
Illinois family courts apply the “best interests of the child” standard. Judges evaluate several key factors:
Notice what’s missing from this list? Faithfulness or infidelity. Parenting quality and the child’s welfare take precedence over marital conduct.
Focus your energy on building a strong case based on what courts actually consider:
Document legitimate concerns: Record evidence of unsafe environments, unstable partners, neglect, or situations that genuinely harm your children.
Highlight your parenting strengths: Demonstrate your ability to provide stability, emotional support, and a nurturing home environment.
Consider collaborative solutions: Explore mediation, detailed parenting plans, or agreements that address your specific concerns about your ex’s new relationships.
Work with experienced counsel: A knowledgeable family law attorney can help separate your emotional response from what legally matters in your case.
Infidelity brings immense pain, and your concerns about the example your spouse may be setting for your children are entirely justified. However, Illinois custody decisions center on your child’s best interests, not marital betrayals.
The best thing you can do to protect your children is build a compelling case around your parenting abilities and your child’s needs. Focus on creating the stable, loving environment your children deserve during this difficult transition.
If you’re facing custody concerns following your spouse’s affair, contact the experienced family law attorneys at SLG Family Law. We’ll help you understand your rights, develop a strategic approach, and create a custody plan that truly prioritizes your child’s safety and well-being.
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