Child Custody

How Do We Divide Parenting Time When We Live in Different States?

Divorce brings enough heartache when it doesn’t add hundreds of miles between you and your child. But when you or your ex-spouse know you’ll be moving away to a different state, creating a parenting schedule can feel overwhelming. 

At SLG Family Law, we are skilled in helping families create parenting plans tailored to their unique needs. Long-distance co-parenting presents its challenges, but with careful planning and the right strategies, you can cultivate a strong and loving connection with your child. Success lies in identifying the most important factors and crafting a schedule that suits your specific circumstances.

Essential Considerations Before Creating Your Plan

Before diving into specific schedules, several important factors will shape what works best for your family.

Your Child’s Age and Needs

Younger children typically need more frequent contact with both parents, even if visits are shorter. School-aged children have academic commitments that limit flexibility during the week. Teenagers may have jobs, sports, or social activities that influence when they are available to travel.

School and Academic Commitments

The academic calendar becomes your framework. Consider which parent lives in the child’s school district and how travel will impact attendance, homework, and extracurricular activities.

Travel Logistics and Costs

Flying versus driving makes a significant difference in scheduling frequency. Decide who pays for transportation, whether your child can travel as an unaccompanied minor, and how long trips should last to justify travel time and expense.

Communication Between Parents

Successful long-distance parenting requires more coordination than local arrangements. Both parents must be willing to be flexible when weather delays flights or family emergencies arise.

Five Parenting Schedule Options for Interstate Families

1. Extended School Breaks Schedule

One parent has the child during the school year while the other gets substantial time during summers, winter breaks, and spring vacations.

Example: The long-distance parent gets most of summer vacation, alternating Thanksgiving weeks, half of winter break, and spring break.

Best for: School-aged children who are unable to attend weekly visits due to distance.

2. Monthly Extended Weekends

The out-of-state parent visits or hosts the child for one long weekend each month or every other month. This might require missing a school day to create a meaningful visit length.

Best for: Teenagers who can handle travel changes and shorter time away from their primary residence.

3. Alternating Holidays and Special Occasions

Parents rotate major holidays, such as Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter. Birthdays might alternate yearly or be split between both parents.

This approach often combines with longer summer or winter blocks to maximize meaningful time together.

Best for: Families who value maintaining holiday traditions despite the distance.

4. Shorter Distance Hybrid (Neighboring States)

For parents living within driving distance, you might adapt traditional schedules, such as spending two weekdays with one parent, two with the other, and alternating weekends.

Best for: Younger children when parents live in bordering states with reasonable drive times.

5. Virtual Visitation Plus Physical Time

Establish regular video calls, virtual bedtime stories, or online gaming sessions to supplement in-person visits. This maintains emotional connection during longer separations.

Best for: All ages, especially younger children who need frequent reassurance and connection.

Making Long-Distance Schedules Work Smoothly

Successful interstate parenting requires more planning than local arrangements. Use shared calendar apps to track transitions and avoid confusion about pickup times or holiday schedules.

Book travel well in advance to reduce costs and last-minute stress. Keep communication focused on your child’s needs rather than using them as a messenger between parents.

Allow transition time when your child returns from visits. They need space to readjust to different homes, rules, and routines.

Build flexibility into your plan. Weather delays, family emergencies, and changing needs require parents who can adapt while keeping their child’s best interests first.

How Illinois Courts View Interstate Parenting Plans

Illinois courts prioritize your child’s best interests above all else. Judges consider school stability, emotional needs, and both parents’ ability to maintain meaningful relationships with the child.

If you’re planning to relocate with your child, you must notify the court and may need approval. Courts prefer clear, workable parenting plans that children and parents can realistically follow.

Build Connection Despite the Miles

Distance doesn’t determine the strength of your relationship with your child; consistency does. Through thoughtful planning, clear communication, and legal support, you can remain an active, loving presence in your child’s life regardless of state lines.

Contact SLG Family Law to discuss creating a customized long-distance parenting plan that protects your time with your child and supports their well-being across state lines.